Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Unsexy Texts

In this line of work, it's inevitable that some oddballs are going to get hold of your number. You never know when a client is going to get drunk and brag to his mates about you. None of them are supposed to pass on my details without letting me know, but you can't guarantee trust in this line of work; every man I meet is a gamble. I like to think I can trust them because they're usually as eager for discretion as I am...

Over the last week I've been receiving quite poorly written 'sex texts' from someone anonymous, but they are definitely far from sexy. As you well know, I love to use the art of words to convey my biggest turn ons and intimate encounters - but writing a blog is one thing. Some guys seem to think that I'll engage in dirty talk with them by text or email, but I really don't have the time or the inclination for that; if I did, I'd work on a cheap chat line or a web cam. I'm afraid nothing you write to me of this manner is going to get a reaction! It's probably the same kind of guys who expose themselves in public or send photos of their penises to unsuspecting women on dating websites. Kind of sad, really.

If my anonymous texter fancies himself as a writer of erotica, I'd suggest a few classes in basic literacy and a crash course in 'What Women Want'. It's great to be turned on by sensual words when they're either kept private or enjoyed by others... but I wouldn't recommend heading down this route, fellas.

Brooke x


  1. Hmm. Well then, seeing how some blokes start off by sending dirty texts the first message, I shall try something different. How about saying I'd love to discover the scents that make up "you", because nothing is more tantalizing and sensual than a woman's scent. And by "discover", I mean I'd love to take my time to go about it as we peel each other clothes off slowly in the light of the moon.

  2. Aww that poor texter....did you reply him in this manner that you are ranting? You may have just crushed what little self-esteem he had :(

  3. No, I haven't replied to his texts J... I'm sure if you saw how crass they are you wouldn't be so sympathetic. Don't get me wrong: I'm all for text sex, phone sex, anything that turns you on. But not numerous uninvited texts that have clearly been sent to provoke a reaction. I'm not sure what he hoped to achieve.

    Casanova... there's not a trace of doubt in my mind that you know how to seduce a lady!


  4. Hear! Hear! It takes more than a few basic words to turn women on! But mind you, the right combination of a few basic words can sometimes be the biggest turn on you'll ever experience!

  5. Indeed! I LOVE erotica and sexy words - an art in itself. What I don't like is crude, distasteful ones! x