Thursday, 19 January 2012

Letting Them Down Gently...

Has anyone discovered a good way to let someone down gently? If it's a crude advance in a bar, no problem. If it's someone you've been friendly with for a while, tricky. If it's someone you've been friendly with for a while and accidentally gave the ride of their life when you were drunk as a skunk, very problematic (but then, one could argue that 'you've made your bed, etcetera). There are some poor fellows who seem to not pick up on the signals... the more you pull away, the harder they try. But if you show any trace of pity at their desperation, they take this as a green light to continue - like a glimmer of hope. Fail.

Then you have the old friends, the ones you thought you'd established platonic boundaries with long ago, who suddenly announce that they've been in love with you all along. I've been informed that telling them the truth - that they're like a brother to you - is a kick in the nuts.

So what's a girl to do?

When I'm working, it's easy. You generally don't have the same emotional attachment to clients, and certainly don't have any obligations to them. I can be straight up with them, and simply discontinue our meetings if they're starting to melt for me... but when I'm just me, it does complicate things...

Brooke x


  1. *just giving you a hug* no practical solution I can suggest here.

  2. This is always a dilemma especially if they confess their love for you. I tend to always go with: It is all my fault and placing the blame on me to spare their feelings and if that isn't enough and they are deeply madly in love with you...well cold turkey is the only way to go, as eventually time will heal their wounds.

  3. I have a terrible habit of being really really rude. It's my natural reaction. So I'd say I do the kick in the nuts thing. But I can't help it. For Ken, it was a nasty text, which 'seemed' to really upset him. He was coming on way too strong, and things were going to get dangerously heavy otherwise. Told his friends about me. He's twenty years older and married. Embarrassing, indiscreet, nuts. I don't advise my way. There must be a manner that is charming and graceful, and doesn't upset too many people...

  4. missing my favourite blogger :(

  5. Sorry I've been away so long Josephine! I have so much on these days, hardly get a moment at my laptop... I'll squeeze in a post for you this week! x