Thursday, 26 November 2009


Am I a snob for hating buses? I usually take a cab or sometimes the tube, but ever since I left school I've associated buses with old, stinky crazy people. But my experience this morning only affirmed my prejudice! I was waiting in the cold for a cab but none passed in 15 minutes. The bus was going to Canary Wharf anyway so I braved it, much to my regret. It was humid, and I was trapped in my seat behind a woman who had yet to discover shampoo. I could smell the grease in her hair as well as see it. Next to her was a grumpy old man with a cane, who used it to sharply slam the two nearest windows shut. It almost made me want a cane!

I'm sure I smelled worse by the time I got off the bus. I'm so glad I wasn't on my way to meet a client, I doubt eau de OAP is much of an aphrodisiac...

Luckily I managed to tone down the fake tan a bit last night. My skin felt raw afterwards from all the scrubbing and buffing, but it was worth it not to get mistaken for an overgrown oopma loompa. Plus the client had the lights down low, works wonders!

Brooke x


  1. Yes, it's not really the ideal form of transport for a woman in your line of work. In ancient Rome, your clients would have probably sent a sedan chair to pick you up, carried by a pair of musclebound eunuchs.

  2. That is a super idea Mr Gorilla, perhaps I should write that clause in my rider? Might give my identity away though as it's not a hugely popular method of transport in London...